Sex between married couples is one of the best ways to build their unions. That’s because sex can mark the beginning of something new, celebrate a long-time love, mend a conversation gone wrong, grow family, or simply just feel really damn good. It can be fast and passionate, slow and romantic, and just as emotional as it is physical.
But whether you’re going through a slight dry spell or feeling a bit disconnected—which, by the way, is totally normal—maintaining that intimacy can feel tough, especially if you’ve been with your partner for a long time.
A relationship coach, Ola Soetan, stated that low sexual desire is one of the struggles most couple face.
He said, “Low sexual desire is one of the most common struggles couples face and this is caused by lack of emotional safety and sexual communication.”
Also, a psychosexual therapist, Kate Moyle, said that variety is one of the keys to encourage and maintain desire and interest.
Valentine’s Day tends to be a time where couples amp up their dating game and engage in romantic gestures— making it the perfect day to also step it up in the bedroom.
The day only lasts 24 hours and if you want to use that time wisely, you should head into the bedroom with knowledge of the sex styles in vogue on Valentine’s Day.
“If you try something new and it’s a flop, that can be positive, too,” said August McLaughlin, author of GirlBoner.
“Laugh together when things get wonky. The vulnerability, goofiness, and even messiness of sex can bolster intimacy, if we let them.”
Below are some sex positions you can try with your spouse this valentine
Take your spoon and raise it a fork: This missionary-turned-sideways position provides the same full-body press and romantic eye gaze, plus lots of opportunity for all the kissing.
From the missionary position, without disengaging, turn together onto your sides, using your arms to support your upper bodies. Try intertwining your legs with his or fondling him down below for even more intimacy.
Head over heels
In this case, heels over head, take your relationship to a deeper level with this move that helps him go all the way.
The woman lies back with her legs resting on each of his shoulders. This narrows the vagina for a snugger fit and more stimulation.
Having your partner go down on you is pretty freaking intimate, and this G-spot-blasting position makes the transition from oral to vaginal a little too easy. It’s perfect to try out this Valentine’s Day, because it’s all about you (as it should be, obviously).
The woman lies back with her legs resting on each of the man’s shoulders. The man licks the clitoris with his tongue, then the woman in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring the manhood into direct contact with the woman’s G-spot, where it belongs.
BAM—you’ve been struck by love. Now have him point his arrow your way with this challenging move.
The woman lies back in the plow position, with her ankles on either side of her head. The man then squats and dips his manhood in and out of the woman.
Like chocolate on Valentine’s Day, missionary is a classic. This position gives you everything you love about the traditional style: not only is it intimate, but making out basically comes with the territory. And modifying missionary means the woman is also getting clitoral stimulation, which is an even sweeter treat.
For this position, start in missionary —from here, bend your knees, and lift your hips up for more contact between both of your pelvises. Wrap your legs around your partner’s back if you want to pull them even closer towards you.
The sofa brace
This position is the perfect combination of comfortable and adventurous. It takes what you love about traditional doggy style, but brings you out of the bedroom, so you can embrace the spirit of V-Day all over your apartment.
Position yourself how you would for traditional doggy style, but do so while draping yourself over the side of a couch. Once you’re positioned comfortably, have your partner come in from behind.
X marks the spot
This one probably isn’t in your normal rotation of sex positions. But Valentine’s Day is all about embracing your partner, so why not do so in a new way. And when I say embrace, I mean it — this position is not only a tight fit, but it provides a great view for both of you.
Have your partner stand facing you while you lie on your back. Cross your legs and rest them against their chest.
It’s intimate, close, and perfect for both dirty talk and romantic moments. It’s also not a position that tends to happen naturally, so it’ll be a nice departure from your sex standards.
Once your partner is comfortably sitting cross-legged, slowly climb on top and lower down onto them. Gently wrap your arms and legs around them as if you’re giving them a full body hug.
Face to face
It’s great for deep penetration, but it also allows the face-to-face intimacy that missionary style is known for. It’s a great way to slow down and focus on you and your partner, which is what this holiday is all about.
Make sure your pelvis is higher than your partner’s, then cuddle up close and lift one leg up and over them. Be patient while trying to find the right positioning.
Shower sex is the steamiest way to mix it up on Valentine’s Day. Rinse and repeat.
With your partner standing and positioned to enter you from the front, bring one leg up to brace against the edge of the tub or your shower wall for extra support and thrusting leverage. The change in angle adds a stimulating twist to a shower standard, and the added sensation of warm water on your back definitely doesn’t hurt.